Secrets and Lies
by loveAJCookalways
Summary: There's something that the team doesn't know about JJ. She didn't exist 19 years ago. What happened to JJ that made her possible and how will the team react to what they find out? rated k for now but may change in later chapters (I do not own criminal minds) I will get chapters uploaded as often as I can !
1. Chapter 1

This takes place during season three when Rossi joins and this is what I think would be quite cool…

There was something about JJ that the team wondered about her. How she could stay calm and controlled and never let a case bother her, she was cold but at the same time warm. Only they didn't know that Jennifer Jareau never existed 19 years ago…

JJ POV

JJ was back at her childhood home, one she tried not to think about, but came only at this time of year in her dreams, the place she couldn't control what she thought or dreamt. JJ felt dread at the pit of her stomach as she realised what her dream was about. that's when she saw the little girl, walking down the street, humming, lunchbox in hand. The little girl had blonde hair and blue eyes. Just like her. JJ heard the noise she could never forget. The piercing scream of the little girls best friend, Samantha-or Sammy as the little girl called her- being raped in the alleyway next to her. JJ followed the little girl that ran into the alleyway to the source of the scream. "Sammy!" the little girl cried. "get off of her now!" she yelled, kicking, punching and clawing at the man that was hurting her friend. JJ knew there wass nothing she could do to stop it. She had tried so many times before to stop it but she soon learned that all she could do was stand and watch with tears running down her face. She had to watch as the man on Samantha killed her and repeatedly raped the little girl, carving her body with a knife, marking her as his own, then let her go only to rape her everyday as she walked by the alley, until he went to her house, being caught by the little girls father who had come home from DC for a surprise visit, finding someone on top of his daughter. He fought the man off her and questioned him, finding out it had been going on for over six months. He went away with the local cops, only to escape their clutches a few days later, again reappearing in the home of the little girl, leaving a note, saying he would be back. Then her family sending her to a new family with a different name, giving her a different name, to protect her from the rapist/stalker. She lost all contact with her faimly that day, and JJ had to watch as the little girl put up her walls, shielding herself from emotions, unable to comprehend anything. Granted she done well at school and got along with her'siblings' but JJ saw through it all. JJ knew. Then she watched as the little girl let her new family in, start playing soccer, seeing her sister die, watching her put up the walls again. The poor kid couldn't get a break and all JJ could do it watch. Eventually the girl got past it, always remembering the promise she had made to her siblung, to get out the small town, keep playing soccer and enjoy her life. That's exactly what the girl done until she got the message that her real mother had passed away. Cancer. She broke down all over again. She put the walls back up and swore she would find the SOB that tore her away from her family…

That's when I woke up. I glanced at the bedside clock. 4:30. No use in trying to get back to sleep now I thought. I hated this time of year, I always got that dream. It haunted me, literally. I never found out if the little girl got to meet her family again, or what happened to her, wel I knew what happened, it just never happened in the dream, it was always the bad parts of the girls life I seen. It made me tired all the time whenever I got the dream, restless sleeping. It made ma cranky, and easily pissed off with the team and the few years they knew me they noticed. Morgan would stay clear of me, something about my period making me crazy at this time of year he said, that's why he chose to stay away. Reid, well he never learns and I always feel bad for snapping but come on stop with the damn facts kid! Prentiss, well, this would be her first time seeing me like this, I guessed that Morgan had warned her. She's still being the same. It helps to know she doesn't treat me differently even though the whole bureau knows about my severe mood change. To be fair its not that hard not to know about it. Garcia, she bakes me cookies. Hotch it just plain old Hotch but he tells me to go take a walk whenever I step over the line. I snorted to myself. God I was such a cow at this time of year.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower deciding to get into work early and get some much needed paper work done, maybe I could be a little nicer to people this time I thought to myself as I rinsed the suds out of my hair. Turning off the water, I grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body and stepping out the shower into my bedroom. I raked through my closet, god I really needed to do some laundry. Twoo weeks of constant cases, I'd had no time to tidy my apartment, much less do any laundry. I found a white polka dot shirt and a pair of black pants in the drawers, close one, I might have had to go to work in sweats. Strauss' face would be a picture at that! I got changed and pulled my hair into a pony-tail, I didn't have any motivation to do my hair this morning, I slipped iinto my black heels and grabbed my purse, badge, gun and coffee, locked the door and got into my SUV. Today was going to be a long day.

When I arrived at the office I walked by security, not getting my usual "morning Agent Jareau" from the security. Word really did get around. As I stepped off the elevator I walked through the glass doors making my way to the coffee, I needed my next fix ten minutes after my first. I grabbed my mug, clearly marked "JJ" and poured the addicting substance into it. I turned around, seeing no body in yet, not even Hotch. Sweet, whole place to myself, maybe I could mess with Morgan… I walked over to his desk which was so neat it was unbelievable, his OCD when it came to his desk was quite funny, he noticed the slightest little thing if it was out of place. I scattered his pens, tipped over his stack of files and just basically moved everything. I spotted some sticky notes and grabbed a pen " payback Morgan, remember 2 weeks ago… xx" he decided it would be funny to hide my coffee mug, pathetic yes, but no one ever messes with my coffee mug.

I got back to my office and before I knew it I had gotten through almost all of my paperwork and it was only 9 am. Excellent. I heard a knock at my door "It's open" I said. " I brought you your next fix gumdrop" I heard Garcia say, as I looked up from my file, she was holding out a giant cup of coffee and a tray of cookies. She was so sweet. " awe thanks Garcia" I said happily. "you okay, you are in a strangely good mood and its- you know…" she trailed off. I felt my eyes prick with tears and a lump iin my throat. There goes my semi- good day. "I'm fine Garcia" I choked out, the memories were starting to make me angry, I guessed she could see it in my eyes as she slowly backed out and shut the door, giving me privacy. I let a few tears fall before composing myself, so I could brief the team on our next case. I grabbed my files and coffee and walked toward the bull pen. " war room in five!" I shouted to the team making my way to the conference room, getting everything set up. Five minutes later everyone filtered through the door, very wary though. Garcia. " where's Hotch" I asked. " He's here" I heard him say from the door way. " everyone I'm sure you all know David Rossi…" I dropped my coffee." JJ are you alright?" Hotch asked. " no, I'm going to be sick!" I gasped running by David Rossi. The father of the little girl in my dreams.

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(a/n) incase you hadn't guessed the dream is from Jjs' childhood… please review!


	2. dad

Shit! Bad move. Think! Think! Think! " oh crap! Sorry, I'm just a little star struck. I went to one of your book signings, but I'd never thought that I'd be working with you.." I trailed off, blushing beet red. I cast my eyes downwards trying not to let the tears overflow. It had been nearly twenty years since I had seen him. He still looked the exact same. Right down to the goatee. Twenty years since I had had a conversation with him. Or a hug from him. My emotions were running on a high alert now. I couldn't let them see that there was something more to my spilled coffee. I don't think he would recognise me, the last time he seen me was at his book signing when I was at Georgetown and I'd had brown hair then. I looked up into his eyes and knew he was going to know exactly who I was when I said my name. I held out my hand "Jennifer Jareau, media liason. I handle the press conferences and picking the cases. If you need anything, my office is down the hall to the right." I said. I seen the recognition in him eyes and immediately looked down. He knew my identity when it changed, but only the name, he was never allowed to keep tabs on my whereabouts. I hoped the recognition I seen was from the book signing but I highly doubted it. " yeah, I remember you, you said that you wanted to be in the FBI and I had inspired you. You had brown hair too if I remember correctly." he said, his tone was still the same towards me. It was then that I knew he knew who I was. " yeah, that's right, I can't believe you remember that! It was so embarrassing!" I said laughing." no! no! I thought it was cute actually, you saying that I had inspired you." he said. I started blushing again. " right, back to the case guys" I presented the case to the team. This was going to be a hard one, six dead kids and another missing. Wheels up in an hour. We were off to Seattle. I headed back to my office to get my go-bag and grab some files for when we were away. I walked in and closed mmy door and allowed myself to loose my composure for a few minutes, knowing I was working with my father but unable to show it to anyone. They had to pay so much to make me disappear when I was young. I heard a knock at the door and hastily wiped my tears away before saying " come in" to whoever it was. I winced at my hoarse voice. The person who walked in surprised me. It was my dad. Rossi, whatever I would call him. I reached over my desk and shut the blinds and walked round my desk and embraced him in a hug. that's when I broke down. " I'm so sorry dad, I should have stayed after the book signings and talked, I should have done something and now you can't call me your nicknames and-" he cut me off from my hysteric rambling. " Kit, just because you didn't stay to talk after them doesn't mean I'm mad with you. If anything I'm proud of you for walking away. Ii know how hard that had to have been for you and I knew how hard today was going to be. I'm so sorry for putting you through all this but you know why we did it" I nodded into his shirt, remembering his scent, the one I had missed so much. "I missed you." I sniffled. " I missed you too" he replied, kissing my hair line. A knock at my door alerted me that we still had a case, I cleared my throat and swiped away the tears " come in." Emily walked through the doors." hey, you okay?" she asked eyes full of concern. " yeah, Rossi was just asking me about what I do when I go with you guys and he asked me if I'd had any really bad cases and I just remembered the dogs from, you know…" I trailed off. "yeah, you need anything. A coffee?" she asked me, knowing that whenever I have a flash back I have coffee. " yeah, that would be great, are you going to the place down the street?" I asked her, wanting my favourite fix. "yeah, I'll give you it on the plane? Want it in your travel mug Jay?" she asked me, I bet she knew there was something else up. " yeah, it's in the kitchen, thanks Em." I said to her. She closed the door behind herself when she walked out my office, I figured she knew she had interrupted a private moment between my dad and I. "you want me to drive you to the jet/" I asked him. " the BAU has it's own jet?" he asked, a little bewildered. "yeah, didn't you guys have one when you were last with them?" I asked, slightly confused but also mocking him as I still remembered his sensitivity towards his age. Narrowing his eyes he said " you did not just go there Kat" smirking, "yes. Yes I did" I replied, walking out the office. I definitely noticed that I'd had a new spring in my step as soon as he stepped back into my life. I hoped I could hide it enough from everyone else.

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During the case it got really hard, the unsub started sending letters to us, taunting us. He said we would never find the girl and the bodies of the others. We found him through a parking ticket, just dumb luck. My dad and I got the SUV and made our way to the airstrip. I knew he was going to ask me about what I'd said to Prentiss a few days ago. It was jusst a matter of how long he was going to wait to ask me.I guess not long because as soon as we pulled away he bit the bullet." what were you and Prentiss talking about the other day when you said the dogs…" he asked cautiously. I sighed. Better get this over and done with." a few months ago we were on a case, investigating couples murdered after the superbowl. Turned out the unsub had multiple personalities. I mean multiple, three to be exact" I chuckled " Tobias, Charles and Raphael." I said the names with venom in my voice" anyway, me and Reid went to question someone about what he seen one night, but what we didn't know was that he was the unsub and we knew he was acting suspicious so we spilt up. I covered the front and he covered the back.I heard Reid shout something but I couldn't hear him. The barn doors swung open because of the wind. There were savage dogs inside that had ripped a girl to shreds. They attacked me. I had to shoot them" I almost whispered the last part and when I glanced down to my arm with the scars on it I realised I had been subconsciously scratching it. he had definitely noticed that. " what happened after that?" he asked, trying to walk on eggshells around the topic. I gave another sigh. " Reid got tortured for two days and I blamed myself. still do. He got addicted to dilaudid and we found him. Nearly not in time. I now am shit scared of dogs" I said the last part with a slight chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. It was clearly not working." did you and Reid get any help. Psychological help, I mean?" he asked. " Reid is but why would I need it, it's not like what happened to me is a big thing, I deserve something to live with for being so stupid as to split up and get an agent and friend tortured. Don't you think?" I asked him, my question being more so rhetorical than to seek an answer. " no. no. you don't need to live with the guilt Kat, you don't deserve it. You do realise your fear could turn into something worse. Right?" he siad " oh yeah. Like what?" I scoffed. " you could get PTSD or you could just reach a breaking point. I have seen it happen with small things like having a shot being fired at you. Don't let it eat you up, go talk to someone." he said, trying to be the over protective dad. "no, I'm fine dad. Trust me." putting a comforting hand on his shoulder." fine but, Kat, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right here you know that right?" he said" I do now" I said with a smile on my face, happy to have my dad in my life once again.

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(a/n) thanks guys, sorry i took so long with updating, a few days I know but I'm still sorry. reviews are still welcome and of course I don't own criminal minds. if I did it would be awesome though!


	3. the team

(a/n) thanks for the reviews that I have, I really hope I can get some more, I had fun writing this bit actually and if you have followed this story from day one, read it again, I have changed some parts of the story….. You may not have to read it though, I kind of explained it in a round about sort of way throught the story…please review and I hope you enjoy!

- Kara xxxx

It had been a few weeks since dad had been back at the FBI. It was fun working with him too. He still didn't know about lackey, neither did the team which I was happy to keep with. I was really private with the team. I didn't go out for drinks with them, I didn't go to any outings with them but I didn't think that that would be lasting much longer.  
I had gotten another letter. I had never told anyone about the letters before. I played it off to my fake family that it as a friend who sent me pictures from when they went on holiday but it was actually from him. He would tell me of what he would do to me if I told anyone. He said he would kill all of my family even if they thought I was dead. I couldn't let them die because of me. I binned every letter and kept Lacey a secret from everyone. I don't even know how he found me. One year I was going to the police with all the letters and he attacked me. He raped me repeatedly, beat. me and carved the symbol into my stomach again and poured alcohol onto it to keep it open. He said that was just a refresher and he would do worse to my family if I told them and left me in the alley. I found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant with Lacey. I gave birth to her about six months before I joined the FBI. None of them know.  
When I walked into the office that day I knew something was wrong." JJ, conference room now. Emergency case." Hotch shouted.  
I walked into the room" Hotch I haven't got anything"  
"I know but this one came in this morning and its a close but violent one"  
"Okay, let me see it"  
I knew as soon as I opened the file it was him. And that he knew about Lacey. There was a blonde haired blue eyed woman with a carving on her stomach. I instinctively put my hand to my stomach, shielding it from view to the world.  
"JJ there was a letter with it too, it was addressed to the BAU, that's why we are taking the case. I want you to read it before we brief the rest of the team. He handed. me an evidence bag and I felt my blood run cold at the hand writing. His hand writing.  
_**DEAR BAU TEAM. NOT ALL OF YOU MAY KNOW ME BUT I BELIEVE THAT TWO OF YOUR AGENTS DO. YOU SEE I HAVE A PAST WITH THEM AND SHE BROKE HER PROMISE. YES IT WAS A FEW YEARS AGO BUT I TOLD HER THAT I WOULD MAKE HER PAY FOR HER INSOLENCE. SHE STUCK TO HER WORD AFTER THAT, SHE DIDN'T EVEN TELL HER FATHER WHAT I DONE TO HER. SHE STILL SITS IN HER APARTMENT WATCHING THE DOORS, KEEPING HERSELF AND THE TREASURE SAFE. BUT GUESS WHAT. ITS NOT WORKING. SEE WHAT YOU DONE KATIE. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.**_  
when I finished reading I was shaking but I put the letter down and grabbed my keys. He knew where I lived and he knew about Lacey. I had to go get her. I ran out the BAU and into my SUV and drove the 15 minute drive home. I couldn't wait for the elevators so I ran up the stairs, knocking frantically on the neighbours door. "Jenifer, what's wrong?"  
"Uh, something has come up and Lacey is coming to my work today" I said, anxious to see my little girl.  
That's when I heard her " MOMMY!" She squealed, crashing into my legs.  
"Hey princess! How about you come to mommy's work today and meet my friends huh?" I said while placing her on my hip.  
"YAY! Me go to mommy's work!" She said clapping her hands.  
I placed. Her back down on the floor and got her to get her toys and backpack.  
"Sorry for coming so fast but I was really worried" I said with a contented sigh.  
"Jenifer, I know that nobody knows about her, are you sure you want to do this? There is no going back"  
"Yes, it concerns her safety and I'm mot putting that at risk." I said to her.  
I seen a whirl of blond curls come at me with her Dora backpack.  
"Ready princess?" I asked  
A smile lit up her face."Yeah!"  
"Thanks again Mrs Hewitt."  
"Any time Jenifer"  
I started chatting to Lacey about my work and how she had to be on her best behaviour and she couldn't be shouting in my work. She was pretty smart for a three-year old.  
I got her buckled into her car seat and we drove off. She started to fall asleep just as we were driving so I let her sleep and carried her up to the office. As I walked through the bullpen doors whith her resting on my hip, I heard Hotch yell.  
"JJ where the hell did you go! You have been gone for over an hour and you just left!"  
His shouting woke up Lacey and she started crying from getting a fright.  
"Thanks for that Hotch, she just fell asleep." I gave him a dirty look as I walked towards the conference room, trying to calm her down. I got confused stares from the rest of the team, apparently they all decided that I was more important than the case.  
"Hey princess, don't cry it's all right" I said bouncing her on my hip.  
I was aware that the team had followed me in and were watching me interact with my daughter. She finally fell back asleep and I placed her on the couch, draping the blanket over her.  
I took a deep breath and faced the team.  
I was faced with shocked expressions.  
"What?" I said  
"JJ, you have a daughter?" Morgan asked.  
"Yeah, she is three. And not many people know about her... as in hospital staff when she was born and the neighbour" I said.  
"Why didn't you tell us" Hotch asked.  
"Because I had to keep her safe. Her father is the UNSUB"  
"What do you mean her father is the UNSUB JJ?" Prentiss asked.  
I lifted up my shirt and showed them the scar. I got gasps from everyone.  
"Katie, why didn't you tell me he found you and why didn't you tell me you had a daughter?" It was dad's voice that asked the question.  
"Wait, you're Katie?" Reid asked me.  
"Yes, I'm Katie. When I was young I watched while my friend was murdered then I was raped multiple times over six months. One day dad walked in and seen him raping me. That was when he had forced me into my own home to do it. Usually it was in an alley. He went behind bars but escaped a few days layer, doing it again to me and writing a message on the wall saying he would kill my family. Dad made me become Jennifer Jareau and I lived in Pittsbrough for the rest of my life. Every year this guy would send me a letter, warning me of things he would do to my family and three years ago I'd had enough and went to take them to a police station. He stopped me and raped me again, carving this onto my stomach , beating me and he said he would make me pay. I was pregnant a few weeks later and six months before I joined the FBI I had Lacey." I gestured towards my sleeping daughter.

" I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want her to be put in danger or the people I told to be put in danger. He is now killing these people because of me and I'm so sorry." I started around the room. Garcia and Prentiss had tears running down their faces and Morgan shook his head in understanding. Reid and Hotch however looked puzzled.

"JJ, you talked about your dad as if he was here" Reid started but I cut him off. I sent my dad a quick glance and seen him nod.  
"He is." I walked over to my dad.  
"Right so Rossi and JJ are father and daughter, JJ has a daughter that we didn't know about to the UNSUB and we now have an UNSUB who wants JJ to feel bad which is clearly working."Hotch said.  
Lacey decided that now would be a good time to wake up." momma?" I walked over to her and scooped her up into my arms."Yeah princess"  
"There's lots of people here" she whispered while burying her head into my hair. I gave a chuckle.  
"Yeah but they are all really nice, I bet they have candy"  
"Candy?really JJ?" Morgan said/  
"Hey, do you want her to like you or not?" I laughed.  
"I wanna stay with you momma" she said.  
"Okay, but you might have to play with your toys a little bit okay?" I said to her  
I felt her nod into my neck.  
"How old is she JJ?" Garcia asked  
"Three and a half " I replied.  
".can we catch this guy?" I asked. I could her the fear k. My voice and I hated it.  
" we will try our hardest JJ" Hotch said.  
That was all I needed to hear from the team to know that they didn't hate me.


End file.
